My favourite place is 1986
is that a place?
or a time?
in my mind it's definitely a place
I was 15 and I used to do things to my hair
like number 2 at the back and sides with a really long fringe
or a half-hawk
I cut my own hair once and had to go to the haircut place to get it fixed
I told her "no I did not cut my hair myself"
and she pressed her breasts against my shoulder as she fixed me up
I also went to America with my friend and his family oh no that was 1987
I was 16 then
In 1986 I went to Hong Kong with my mum and my sister
My dad died when I was 8
My brother was living in England for a bit
In Hong Kong I bought a denim jacket at Stanley Markets
it had cartoon print on the inside and I never wore it once I got back home
It looked terrible
I can't really pull off a denim jacket
What do you wear it with?
You can't wear it with jeans
too much denim
But you can't wear it with other kind of pants because it looks weird?
We also had this tour guide who was 23 and I had a crush on her
but I was only 15 and she couldn't pronounce revolving restaurant
She would say revolting restaurant and everyone on the tour laughed and one fat asshole kind of guy kept trying to get her to say it properly and she just kept saying revolting and he was all no it's RE-VOL-V-ING
and I halfway think she said it that way on purpose because she was funny
I threw up in Macau
and I'm not the kind of guy who throws up a lot
I hate it actually
I went from 1988 to 2009 without vomiting
That's 21 years guys
Just to give you an idea but it really flowed out of me in Macau
I was sick from the ferry ride and the smell
but also I saw Top Gun in 1986 with my mum
My mum is really sweet and it made me want to be a fighter pilot
I actually applied to the Australian Defence Force Academy when I was in year 12
It's a long story but I went in for a whole day of testing and this one guy told me about the coordination test how you have to use a joystick and follow a dot with a circle and in my mind I thought it would be like a plane
Pull back/go up
Push forward/go down
but when I got in there it was the opposite and I messed it up and failed the coordination test which is not good for a pilot
They told me to play video games and come back in a year.
I went and got a marketing degree instead
God, imagine me in the miltary
I forgot what my point was